


I don't know what you're doing to me

by PanicAtThePenetration



Category: Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Awkward Boners, Awkward Romance, Awkwardness, Crying, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, ITS ALL AWKWARD, M/M, group project
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-28
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-04-23 06:09:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4865945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PanicAtThePenetration/pseuds/PanicAtThePenetration
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Brendon Urie is forced to work on a economics project with Ryan Ross, he has no idea how to deal with the emotions he develops. Ryan hangs out with the "Cool Kids," and Brendon... Well let's just say the only cool thing that he does is play the piano. Which isn't very cool. Will Brendon go against everything he's been taught just for a chance at love? Or will he be rejected by his parents AND Ryan?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys like it! Let me know if y'all would enjoy this little somethin' being continued orrrr if i should disconnect from the internet and crawl into a hole where i might actually finish my homework. My mom keeps on telling me to join pinterest, and I have the same reply each time. I'M A SINNER NOT A PINNER.

The day had started off normal enough. Brendon had woke up, prayed, took a shower, ate his breakfast, and kissed his mother’s cheek before heading off to catch the bus for school. He went through his first 3 hours swiftly, skipped lunch to practice his piano in the music room, went through 4th hour, and finally made his way to his final class of the day, economics.

His teacher, Mr. Smith, handed out papers for the project they were starting. "OK, glad to see you all showed up" He started, earning a few giggles. "We are going to be starting a project on different countries and their consumption of goods and services. I will be pairing you up-" He was cut off by the class groaning. "Stop your whining or you'll writing a 5 page long essay on the history of coins." He snapped, silencing the class. "Anyways," He went off explaining the project, how much points it'd be worth, and so on. "Now, I know it’s Friday, but this project will be due first thing Tuesday, since Monday we have off of school. You and your partner will be expected to spend time outside of school to work on and finish it, as you will be given no class time to do so." 

Brendon wasn't really paying attention, staring off into space thinking about what he was going to do later. He was startled when the teacher slammed a piece of paper on his desk and announced, "Mr. Urie, you will be working with Ryan." Brendon whipped his head up in shock, making eye contact with Ryan. He blushed and looked down when the other boy smirked. Oh, how much fun Ryan was going to have with him. 

*************** 

After the bell rang, Brendon tried to rush out of the class as quickly as he could, but his arm was gripped tightly by a mysterious person. "Hey, where are you going, handsome?" Ryan asked, a wide smirk spreading across his face. 

Brendon whipped his head around, body frozen as he stuttered out, "Umm... I... I mean I was going to go home..." Ryan threw his head back with a laugh. "Well, we're partners, and I think I'd need to know your phone number to plan when to work." Ryan said, releasing the tight grip he had on Brendon's arm. When Brendon didn't reply, his smile widened. "What, do I scare you?" Brendon just squeaked quietly, and scribbled his number down and thrust it towards Ryan. "Here." Brendon murmured, rushing out of the classroom and hearing the snickers of Ryan's friends. 

"Hey, why are you running away? Are you going off to cry to your momma? Boo hoo" One of Ryan's friends yelled after him, making Brendon blush harder and tears swell in his eyes when he saw Ryan laughing along with the rest of them. He walked faster, missing the sympathetic look he was given by Ryan.

***************

Brendon rushed off the bus, running through his house and up to his room. He jumped onto his bed and buried his face into his pillow. His phone buzzed, he had gotten a text from one of his friends, Tyler. It was just asking him if he wanted to go out later with him and Josh to grab dinner, which Brendon politely declined, preferring to stay wrapped up in his blankets while dwelling on what Ryan's friend had yelled at him, and how he was going to survive working on this project. He got another text, expecting it to be Tyler, but it's from an unknown number. 

3:34pm- Hey B, this is Ryan. It seems we may have gotten off on the wrong foot. Would you want to go grab some coffee? My treat.

Brendon was slightly shocked, but he recovered quickly and felt anger boiling in his veins, there was something else he couldn't describe there, too. He decided to ignore it and fire back, 'I would love too, but personally I try and keep as far a fucking way from dicks like you as I can, so maybe another time asshole.' Brendon was planning on doing the project alone, and saying Ryan helped him. He had no desire to work with him. The older boy was intimidating to say the least, he was tall, had chocolate brown eyes he surrounded in eye liner, light brown hair that covered some of his face, and long, pale fingers. Brendon was thinking that they'd be great hands for playing the guitar when he got another text from Ryan.

3:45pm- C'mon, Brendon, Don't be like that. Come meet me here at 5, and if you don't show up, don't think I'll hesitate to call your precious mother and tell her about the language you used with me. Something tells me she wouldn't be pleased about her little baby son speaking like that. What would your church feel knowing you spoke like that?

There was an address at the end, and Brendon debated clicking it. Ryan must have done his research, how did he know how strict Brendon's mother and church were? Surely his mom would take away all of his instruments and ground him for a month for speaking like that, so in the end he decided to click. It was only a 10 minute walk from his house, and if Brendon was being forced to go he might as well look good doing it. While he showered, his brain seemed pretty interested on thinking about Ryan's face. He tried to focus on other things, like what he was going to wear, but the others boys face just kept on creeping back into his thoughts. His brain seemed to think Ryan was good looking, no scratch that, he was downright sexy. He was frustrated at himself for even thinking like that, and made a mental note to pray about it later. He finished rinsing off, and got changed into his skinny jeans and a gray hoodie. He grabbed his phone and headed down the stairs, only to be stopped by his mom when he reached the front door. 

“And where do you think you’re going?” Brendon’s mom asked, taking her apron off.

Brendon nervously bit his lip, debating on lying. He cleared his throat and said,“I have a project due for school and have to meet my partner out in town. We have to find time to work on it over the weekend because it’s due Tuesday. His name is Ryan and he’s really nice.”

Brendon’s mom narrowed her eyes before nodding and stepping out of his way to the door.   
“Alright, sweetie. Have fun and be back before 8 please.” She told him, kissing his forehead and walking back to the kitchen. “I love you!” 

“Love you too!” Brendon shouted after her, stepping out into the cold night, feeling a little guilty about lying. His mind is occupied with thoughts of Ryan's pale face, Oh how much fun this will be.


	2. Chapter 2

Brendon made his way though the cold streets, getting more nervous with each step he took. Before he knew it, he was standing outside of the cute little coffee shop. He peeked in the window, and clasped a hand over his mouth when he saw Ryan. He looked even better than Brendon expected, hair flat-ironed and resting across his forehead, a new layer of eyeliner, super-skinny black jeans and a tight fitting black shirt. He ignored the stirring in his pants and walked in as confidently as possible, which probably looked about as graceful as a deer standing for the first time. He made his way over to the table Ryan had picked out in the corner with his heart rate picking up every step of the way.

Ryan grinned when he saw Brendon. "Hey, Brendon. Glad to see you could make it." Ryan said, standing up and pulling out the other chair for Brendon.

"Th... Thanks." Brendon stuttered out, cursing himself for stuttering. His anger from earlier came back full force when he saw Ryan's smirk. "Ok, you know what Ryan? I really don't get you. Why did you invite me here, you obviously think I'm a loser like all of your other friend's, who are obviously going to go nowhere in life with all the drugs they do, and don't even get me started on YOU-' Brendon was cut off mid sentence.

"You're adorable when your angry, you know that? And I told you, I invited you here to apologize. I hope a small coffee is Ok, they kept bugging me to order." Ryan said, looking up to see Brendon's nod but still ignoring the comments he made. "Anyways, so I'm free all weekend, and I'd say we can work at my house but my dad... He's kind of an alcoholic and I'd rather be as far away from him as possible at all times." Looking up, Ryan saw the anger still in Brendon's eyes. "Hey, look." He started, features softening. "I'm sorry that I laughed at Gabe's stupid joke. It wasn't even that funny, honestly." 

Brendon's anger flickered, but he was raised with manners and decided to be polite. "OK. I accept your apology." He lied, and remembered what Ryan said about his father. "And I'm sorry about your father, let me call my mom and ask if it would be ok for us to work at my house." 

"Hey, don't be sorry. His fault, not mine. Go ahead and call your mom, I'm gonna run to the bathroom." Ryan replied, standing up before Brendon could say anything. 

He shrugged and dialed the number, waiting for her to answer.

"Hello?" His mothers voice said through the phone.

"Hi mom. I was wondering if I could have Ryan over this weekend to work?" Brendon asked with crossed fingers. He didn't understand why he suddenly wanted his mom to say yes.

"Brendon... You know me and your Father had planned a trip for the family to go with the church on vacation this weekend." His mother replied.

Shit. Brendon forgot about that. He started to come up with a few little lies, when did this become so natural to him? "But mom, the project is a HUGE part of my grade and if I fail I'll have to go to summer school." He knew that would help persuade her answer.

"Let me talk to your dad about it, you know you aren;t usually allowed friend's over without supervision and how disappointed the church will be." She reminded him, voice hard.

"I know, mom. But couldn't you make an exception, just this once? We're just friends." He threw in there.

"Brendon Boyd Urie, of course you're just friends. You are not some... gay. Why would you even THINK to suggest something that... vile and wrong? We'd react the same way if this was a girl, but with even more limitations. Now, I'll talk to your father and call you back. I love you, sweetie." She said before she hung up, missing Brendon's I love you in reply. He doesn't get why he was so upset with his mother for what she said about gay people, he knew it was wrong. He suddenly remembered Ryan, and glanced over to the bathroom door. 'He's been in there for quite a while... I should go check on him.' He thought, standing and abandoning their coffee.

********************

Ryan heard the bathroom door open, and he quickly wiped his tears and held in his whimpers. "Ry?" he heard Brendon call. "Are you alright?" 

"I'm fi...ne" He called back, hoping Brendon missed the way his voice cracked. 

He had no such luck. "Hey, are you crying?" Brendon asked, walking closer to the stalls. Ryan unlocked the door and stepped out.

"No, why would you think that?" He asked in his usual monotone, face deprived of emotion. 

"Your eyes are still red. What happened? I'm sorry if i upset you, I was still a little angry about earlier but I'm over it now, I swear." Brendon rushed out, stepping closer to Ryan.

"Oh, Don't be so selfish. I'm fine, it was nothing about you." Ryan replied, refusing to let Brendon see him being weak. He was surprised to feel Brendon's arms wrapping around him. 

"You don't have to tell me what's wrong, but please don't lie. I know you were crying, it's ok." Brendon whispered into Ryan's hair. Ryan wanted to push him, tell him to fuck off and then leave and ignore him forever, but Ryan had a small crush on the nerd, he didn't know when it started but he'd been excited when he found out how much time he'd get to spend with Brendon because of this project. Brendon was so religious Ryan doubted he had a chance, but he's Ryan fucking Ross, who could resist him?

He pulled away from Brendon. "Thanks, Brend-." Brendond's phone started ringing.

"Hey, sorry. It's my mom. One sec- Hello?" Brendon asked into the phone. Ryan heard Brendon's mom's voice, and watched as Brendon eyebrow's shot up in surprise and a huge grin spread across his face. "Ok, Mom. Thank you so much! I love you, Too. Bye." Brendon hung up and looked at Ryan with a smirk. "Looks like we have my house to ourselves all weekend."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys <3


	3. Chapter 3

After parting ways from the Coffee Shop, Brendon decided to head over to his friend Patrick's. He still had an hour before he had to be home, and he wanted to have some fun (and tell him about Ryan). He walked up to Patrick's door and let himself in, something he's been doing for the past 4 years. Brendon stopped in the kitchen to grab a coke, before making his way upstairs.

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST" Screamed Patrick when Brendon opened the door, pushing Pete off of him and grabbing a blanket to cover up with. Brendon's face was dark red as he mumbled out a quiet apology and started to leave. "Hey, don't go, B. I'm sorry you had to find out like this. Please don't hate me." Patrick said, eyes watering at the thought of losing one of his closest friends. 

"Please get dressed at least." Brendon tried to joke, "and then maybe I'll think about it." Patrick and Pete giggled from the bed, and Brendon shuffled out to wait in the living room, all while trying to hide his unwanted erection.

***********

Patrick came down with Pete trailing behind him a few minutes later, hair still damp from his shower. He smiled uneasily at Brendon, sitting down in the chair next to Brendon's. "I-"

"Before you say anything, I want you to know I'm fine with you and Pete." Brendon said, hands slightly shaking as he thought about how his parents would feel.

"Really? You have no idea how great that makes me feel. Ask Pete, I've been worrying about it for weeks." Patrick said, smiling over at Pete.

"Patrick, honestly? You're one of my best friends, of course I'm fine with it." Brendon's voice slightly stiff. "Anyways, thanks for letting me stop bye but I've gotta go, you know my parents and their stupid rules." He finished, going to stand up. "See you around, Pete." Pete nodded back and him and Patrick just smiled, but there was a sadness in his eyes. 

"Bye Brendon."

**********

Patrick turned to his boyfriend, with rage in his eyes. "I know he's not Ok. Did you see how quickly he left? There was no emotion behind what he was saying. Jesus, I really messed up. I don't get what has been wrong with him today." Pete just listened, nodding sympathetically. 

"It's ok, Pat. Just give him a day or two to calm down and think." Pete said, wrapping his arms around his little boyfriend.

"I know I know... But he could've stayed instead of rushing out like he doesn't know that I know when he has to be home." Patrick said against Pete's chest, eyes drooping slightly.

"Well, how about I take your mind off of it and we can catch up on what we were doing." Pete whispered into Patrick's ear, smirking when he heard Patrick say "Bring it."

**********

Brendon quietly opened his front door, trying not to wake his sleeping parents as he crept up into his bedroom. When he got in he ran to his bathroom and turned the shower on to freezing and jumped in, hoping it'll get rid his hard-on. Images of Pete and Patrick kept flashing into his mind, he immediately began praying, asking for guidance and forgiveness. After he felt satisfied enough with himself, he opened the curtain and pulled on some pajamas before sliding into bed. His stomach twisted into knots when he remembered the hug Ryan gave him, how close their bodies were and how Ryan had whispered "See you tomorrow, handsome", into his ear, breath ghosting along his neck. Brendon shuddered and rolled over, willing sleep to overtake him.

************

"Please" Brendon whined, hands shaking violently. "What else do you want me to do?" said a mysterious voice

************

He woke up to his mom knocking on his door, jerking him out of the dream he was having. "Brendon, honey! Come say goodbye before we leave!" Brendon groaned and rolled over, grabbing a sweatshirt to hide his little... problem. Grabbing his phone and reading over his texts, he had a few from Tyler, talking about some deep shit Josh helped him handle, one from Patrick saying to call him ASAP, and one from Ryan that made Brendon's heart flutter against his will, and his face flushed in shame as he remembered his dream. "BRENDON!' His dad's voice bellowed. 

"I'm coming!" Brendon squeaked, hopping off of his bed and out into the living room. He said his goodbyes, hugging his 2 older sisters and 2 older brothers. He shook his dads hand, and gave his mom a kiss on the cheek. 

"You and Ryan better follow the rules I wrote down. I want you to call with regular updates and if anything goes wrong." Brendon nodded his consent, and waved as they walked to the car. He shut the door, and did a little happy dance. He was finally alone! He decided to make some breakfast and call Patrick. 'I wonder what he wants?' Brendon thought as he dialed the number, but it went straight to voicemail. "Oh, well." He sighed, setting his phone down right as Ryan texted him. 

7:56am Ryan  
Hey, B. When do you want me to come over? I've got a bag packed for tonight. With what i packed, we'll have lots of fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading chapter 3! This turned out different than I expected it too, I guess deep down I want Ryan to be a softie. Tell me what you guys think!


	4. Chapter 4

What did Ryan mean? Brendon wondered, walking into the kitchen to make breakfast. The house isn't that messy, as him and his siblings always did their chores. He made sure they had some snacks for later, and he did his dishes from this morning. He went to tidy his room, pulling out the supplies they needed for the project and laying them on his bed before hanging his bag up in the closet. After finishing all of the things he needed to do, he decided to shoot Ryan a text after all of his preparing, so he didn't look desperate.

To: Ryan  
8:37am: Hey, Ryan. what did r u bringing thats fun? and u can come over at 12. just walk in, doors unlocked.

He decided to jump into the shower. After washing up, he walked over to his closet to decide what to wear. Oh no. He needed to call someone. Figuring Patrick's probably still busy, he calls Tyler.

"Hello." Brendon said when he heard Tyler pick up.

"Ah.. Hi Bre-Brendon. What do-ohhh.. What do you neED? Actually, Can I call you back, I'm a little busY?" Tyler asked breathlessly from the other side of the phone.

"Well, I needed fashion advice but-" realization dawned on Brendon's face when he heard another voice speaking, it was Josh. "Yeah you are busy goodbye!" Brendon rushed out, blush spreading across his face. It definitely sounded like Tyler was having SEX with Josh. That was... just... he couldn't bring himself to think it was wrong, it just... wasn't... natural. Why would anyone want to be with another guy- images of Ryan crossed his mind, and the realization hit him like a brick. He was crushing on Ryan, and he was crushing hard. He instantly started sobbing, wrapping his arms around himself, what would his parents think? He sobbed harder. There were plenty of pretty girls in his school, but Ryan was just... different. He crawled into his bed, -naked-, and wrapped himself in blankets, spit dribbling down his chin.

He lost track of time, laying there covered in his own spit and tears. Why Ryan? When did he start to like him? Literally just yesterday he thought he hated him. But thinking back on it, remembering last year when they first met, Brendon DID feel a little strange. He'd been ignoring this for so long, that finally saying it was kind of a relief. Until he remembered his parents, which brought on a fresh wave of tears. 

"Brendon? What are you-Oh." Brendon heard Ryan say from the door, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. He set the bag he had slinged over one shoulder down, and walked towards the lump on Brendon's bed. "Are you ok? Why are you crying?" Ryan asked worriedly, chewing on his bottom lip.

"What are you doing here- wait. It's 12, isn't it?" Brendon groaned when Ryan nodded, before remembering he was kind of completely naked. "I... I'm sorry about losing track of time, I just... I need to go and.. well get dressed." Brendon said, gesturing to his closet.

"Ok, well I'll be downstairs." Ryan said, deciding not to pry... yet.

Brendon sighed in relief when Ryan left the room, closing the door behind him. He walked over to his closet, pulling on a black undershirt, black skinny jeans, and a blue plaid shirt. He washed his face in the bathroom, combed his hair and brushed his teeth. Making his way down the stairs, he see's Ryan looking at the photos of him on the wall from when he was a kid. Ryan looked as gorgeous as always, wearing a red shirt with a vest over it, and jeans that looked painted on. Brendon was staring at Ryan's ass when he turned around.

"My eyes are up here, you know." And holy shit, he had a beautiful design of birds surrounding his right eye. "...ndon. Brendon, are you even listening?" 

Brendon snapped out of his trance, blush immediately spreading. "I... I'm sorry, I... It's just-" Ryan chuckled and smirked. 

"Don't worry about it. Now, should we start our project?

**************

After about an hour of working and accomplishing quite a lot, they decided it was time for lunch. Brendon was surprised that talking to Ryan was easy, he expected things to be awkward but they filled any silence with talks of music, which they were both surprised to find out they were into the same bands. Ryan acted so cool in school, but he was honestly a pretty nice guy. 

"So, what was up with you earlier?" Ryan asked as he took a bite into his pizza. 

Brendon looked down, blushing for what felt like the 100th time today. "I was just... thinking about.. I... It wasn't really... I..." He stumbled over his words, looking at Ryan anxiously. "It wasn't anything. I was just thinking about this... movie I just went to see."

"We both know that's bullshi-" Ryan's cut off by Brendon's phone ringing. "Aren't you going to answer?" Ryan asked while Brendon sat still.

"Oh, Yeah.." Brendon blushed and answered the call. "Hello?"

"Hey Brendon, It's me." Patrick said through the phone. 

"Uhmm... I'm actually working on a school project with... Ryan Ross." Brendon said sheepishly.

"What the fuck? Why with that douchebag?" Patrick asked, not knowing about Brendon's new found appreciation of the other boy. 

"He's actually sitting right here waiting, so... What was it you needed to talk about?" Brendon replied, and he heard Patrick swallow.

"Ok, I know you said you are, but you really don't seem to feel it's ok that I'm gay. You had this horrible look, and you sounded so... mean about the whole thing." Patrick rushed out, voice shaking. Brendon felt sick. He'd made his closest friend think he hated him all because of his stupid religion that he didn't even believe in- wait. Did he really just think that? What has gotten into him-.

"Brendon!" Yelled Patrick into the phone, breaking him from his thoughts. "Please say something-anything." Patrick pleaded.

"Patrick, you are my best friend. I meant what I said, I was initially a little shocked, but I've come to change the way I feel abut a lot of things. I don't care who you love, as long as they treat you right." Brendon said, smiling when he heard Patrick giggle.

"Brendon, you are the beststest friend I could have ever found!" Patrick said. "We need to hang out with Ty and Jos- HOLY SHIT!" Patrick screamed, scaring Brendon.

"Patrick, what's wrong!?" Brendon asked.

"Jesus, it was just Pete. I have to go, talk to you later B." Patrick said happily.

"Bye Pat." Brendon said as he hung up, going back to eating his pizza. He looked up at Ryan, who had been already staring at him.

"Change the way you feel, hmmm?" Ryan asked, starting to piece together what Brendon was crying about earlier.Brendon acted like he didn't hear him, and continued to eat. After they both finished lunch in a comfortable silence, Ryan suggested they went up to Brendon's room to hang out for a while, instead of going back to work. Brendon agreed, and lead them back upstairs into his room.

"Soooo..... What do you want to do?" Brendon asked, sitting down on his bed and patting the space infront of him for Ryan. 

"How about.... Truth or dare?" Ryan suggested with a gleam of mischief in his eye.

"Ok..." Brendon answered nervously."I'll start. Truth or Dare?" He asked. 

"Truth." Ryan replied.

"Have you ever... kissed anyone?" He said innocently, and blushed when Ryan laughed.

"Well, yes. I've kissed lots of girls and even a few guys." Ryan said with a smirk, it widening when he saw Brendon's flushed face. "Truth or Dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to... Tell me why you were upset this morning, and I want the truth, Brendon." Ryan questioned, eyes intensely locked with Brendon's.

"I... It was... I was thinking about... I... I heard 2 of my good friends having sex... Two of my guy friends, and it just... It made me start just thinking and..." Brendon stuttered out, looking down at his hands.

Ryan grabbed his chin, turning it up to look him in the eyes. "Brendon. Do you like boys?"

"It's not your turn-"

"Answer. My. Question." Ryan growled.

"No, I don't!" Brendon said, guilt spreading through him.

"I knew it. You should've told me the truth, but I know you're lying. Can't hide anything with a face like that." Ryan said, and then leaned in and did something Brendon would've never seen coming. He kissed him, right on the lips.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm back! The smart thing for me to be doing right now is studying, buttttttttttt yeah no.

It took Brendon a few seconds to realize what was happening, Ryan's mouth gently pressed against his. He was frozen, and didn't know what to do. His heart was beating a mile a minute, his hands were starting to sweat, and he still hasn't kissed back. He could feel Ryan starting to lean back, which Brendon didn't want. He hurriedly leaned back in, and slowly tried his best to kiss Ryan. Ryan smirked into the kiss and climbs into his lap, pressing him against the headboard. Their clothed erections rubbed against each other, causing Brendon to let out an embarrassing high-pitched noise. "Ryan, Ryan please..." Brendon groaned, blush spreading across his face. 

"Hmmm? What do you want Brendon?" Ryan asked teasingly, reaching down and pressing his palm against Brendon's bulge, which made his eyes go wide.

"Have you ever...?" Ryan trailed off, pressing harder.

"N-no..." Brendon gasped out, hips pushing up against Ryan's hand. 

Ryan smiled, leaning down to suck a hickey on Brendon's neck. "Don't worry," He said, pulling back to admire the dark purple mark. "I'll be good to you, if you want it. I can make everything feel so good." 

Brendon whimpered, extremely nervous. "I- I don't know..." He said looking down, embarrassed. Brendon felt Ryan's fingers curl under his chin, forcing him to look into his eyes.

"Brendon, we don't have to do anything right now. How about we go downstairs and watch a movie?" Ryan said sincerely, wanting to make sure Brendon was 100% comfortable.

"Really?" Brendon asked, slightly calming now that he was in his comfort zone.

"Yeah, of course. I'd never make you do anything you weren't comfortable with. Now, I'll race you!" Ryan yelled, crawling out of Brendon's bed and running down the stairs.

"You're a cheater!" Yelled Brendon, charging after him.   
************  
After deciding they'd watch Insidious 3, they snuggled into the couch with popcorn and coke in complete darkness. Brendon wasn't exactly a fan of scary movies, but he found out Ryan absolutely LOVED them. He wasn't paying much attention to the movie, more focused on Ryan's face. His defined cheekbones, the dark chocolate brown of his eyes, his smooth, tan skin, and his unreasonably long eyelashes. Ryan turned to look at Brendon, surprised to see the younger boy was already staring at him. Brendon looked away with a blush.

"You do that a lot, you know." Ryan mentioned casually, wrapping his arm around Brendon's waist tighter.

"Wh-what do you mean?" Brendon stuttered out, acting like he was paying attention to the movie.

"Blush. It's actually kind of adorable." He said with a smile, ruffling Brendon's hair. Brendon snuggled closer into Ryan's side to hide his giggles, making Ryan smile. Brendon is just too adorable, Ryan thought as he carded his fingers through the younger boys hair. He heard Brendon sigh, eyes slipping shut. "Do you want to go to bed?" Ryan asked, reaching for the remote. 

"But the movie isn't over." Brendon replied.

"Oh hush. We both know you were watching me, not the movie." He said as he turned the TV off. He didn't turn to see Brendon's embarrassed face as he slid an arm under his leg and one around Brendon's middle and lifted him up.

"Woah!" Exclaimed Brendon as he was lifted from the couch. "Ryan, why are you carrying me?" Brendon asked, face flushed. 

"Becaaaaaaause you look cute when you're embarrassed." He responded as he trekked up the stairs into Brendon's room. Brendon buried his heated face into Ryan's neck before he felt himself be gently laid into his warm bed. Ryan slid in beside him, wrapping his arms around Brendon and pulling him up to rest against Ryan's chest. 

"Ryan?" Brendon said nervously, hands playing with the hem of his shirt. 

"What's up, B?" He replied, running his fingers through his hair and scratching lightly to try and calm the younger boy.

"I... I really like you... and, you are like cool... why would you ever like me?" He asked quietly. That's definitely not where Ryan thought Brendon was going. 

"Brendon, you are so blind. You are so so so beautiful. I've heard you sing before in the music room, it is honestly amazing. You can play so many instruments so beautifully, and I'm so glad I got to get to know you better today. Your personality is great, and you have a better taste in music than anyone I've ever met. I’m not as cool as you think, I just hang out with those assholes so I can have someone to be around. For some reason, I don’t think I’ll be needing them anymore.” Ryan finished with a smile, thumb rubbing away the tears that had started to fall on Brendon's face. 

"Ry- Ryan I don-" Brendon was cut off by Ryan leaning in to kiss him, soft and slow. Brendon tried to mimic Ryan's movements, and from how Ryan was responding he assumed he was doing an ok job of it, until he felt Ryan's tongue brush against his bottom lip causing him to pull away. "Sorry, that was too fast. How about we sleep now?" Ryan asked, pulling up the covers around him and Brendon.

"Goodnight, B." Ryan whispered against his forehead. 

"Goodnight Ry." Replied Brendon, snuggling deeper into Ryan’s side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I have a tumblr (Panicatthepenetration) if you were curious :) Let me know how you like this chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Yeah I've been having a rough week so what do I do? WRITE THE SIN

"Oh my goodness! Mom! Mom come up here quick!" Brendon's sister yelled, waking both Brendon and Ryan. 

"What is it dear-" Grace asked, eyes blown wide in shock when she joined her daughter at the top of the stairs. She saw her son and Ryan latched onto each other, and just frowned when Brendon immediately started apologizing. 

"Mom, what are you doing here so early? Im sorry, it's nothing, I promis-" Brendon was cut off by his father who had joined his mother and sister.

"Brendon Boyd Urie, I want you to pack your bags and leave. Now." His father said firmly, grabbing his mom and sisters arm and dragging them away. 

"No! Boyd, come on, we can fix him!" His mother cried.

"I don't want to see that... Filth in this house, Grace. He can come back when he's pure again." He said angrily, slamming Brendon's door. "You have 5 minutes!" He yelled. 

Brendon turned to Ryan and clung to him, sobbing. "What am I supposed to do?" He cried, soaking Ryan's shirt.

"Shh... It's ok, Brendon... You can come stay with me, alright? I'm sure my dad won't mind, he's barely home anyways... You just need to give them some time, you'll be fine shhh... Let's pack up some of your things, ok B?"

Brendon pulled away, wiping his face on his arm. "Ok..." Brendon sniffled, moving to grab his school bag. Ryan helped him pack up some clothes, his school stuff, and some other things he'd need. 

"You're gonna be ok, Brendon." Ryan said before wrapping his arm around Brendon's waist and kissing the top of his head. "Now let's walk out of here with your dignity." He wiped the last tears from Brendon's face.

"I'm ready." 

They walked down the stairs, not stopping to look at Brendon's family who were all waiting at the bottom. "Brendon, please don't go- your father is just-"

"Grace! You better shut your mouth!" His father roared.

"It's ok mom." His brother said, taking her hand and leading her into the living room. Brendon rolled his eyes at his father and dragged Ryan through the door with him. 

"I can't believe them, I mean I knew they would be upset, but this?" Brendon complained as him and Ryan made their way to Ryan's car. Ryan held the door open on the passenger side for Brendon who smiled at him a little miserably, before climbing in himself.

"Ok, I know it sucks, but if I were you, I wouldn't miss those assholes. If they don't love you, they're not really family." Ryan spit out.

"Why are you angry! You saw my mom, she wanted me to stay!" 

"Then she would've tried harder to stop you! Brendon, you don't get it. You're naïve. You were raised an innocent little boy and now all I've done is come along and ruin it!" Ryan exclaimed as he slammed his hands onto the steering wheel, breathing heavily. 

"Hey, Ryan you didn't do anything. I've never felt this way about anyone, and I... You're worth whatever consequences my parents have for me." Brendon said confidently.

"What about your religion?" Ryan asked quietly, starting the car.

"Ah that, I've come to realize that I honestly don't really believe in all of that. I'm just terrified of my family." He admitted sheepishly, smiling at Ryan. 

"Well, how about we go to my place and get working on this project, yeah?" Ryan asked.

"Oh shit. I completely forgot." Brendon groaned, leaning against the car window. 

"Hey, we still have all weekend. And I'll bet my dads gone, we can make a little better use of our time today, if you want." Ryan said nervously, eyes glued on the road.

"Sounds fantastic." Brendon said with a grin, already excited for what Ryan had planned. "Wait!" He exclaimed loudly.

"Jesus fuck, Brendon!" Ryan gasped. "What the hell was that for?" He asked.

"You never told me what you brought to my house so we could have fun!" Brendon whined.

"Oh, that. Well, you'll see when we get back home." Ryan said with a smirk, laughing at Brendon's wide eyes. "Don't worry, I think you'll love it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this chapter!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I have returned! Sorry about taking so long, I've been with family for my whole break off of school and had been busy prior to that, but enjoy!

"And this is my room." Ryan said as he opened a door at the end of the hall. Ryan walked in and layed across the bed, "what do you think?" 

"It's great!" Brendon answered enthusiastically, admiring the posters Ryan has hung up on his walls when he feels arms encircle him from behind. "What are you doing, Ry?" 

"You know... My dad won't be home tonight. We could... Have some fun..." He whispered in his ear, rubbing Brendon's stomach when the younger boy tensed. "Hey, we don't have to." 

Brendon laid his head back on Ryan's shoulder. "I mean, I really want to, trust me Ryan fuck do I want to but... I'm still really nervous." Brendon said, embarrassed. 

"I know, it sounds scarier than it is. I'd make it so good for you, you've just got to trust me" Ryan said, sliding his hands farther up Brendon's chest. 

Brendon let out a sigh, relaxing back into Ryan. "I- I do trust you, Ry... I'm just... What if I'm not good at it?" He asked nervously.

Ryan chuckled. "You can't really be bad at it, I'll show you how everything works. You just have to let it happen. Ok?" 

Brendon sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and chewed on it. "I... Can I take a shower first?" 

Ryan laughed at that. "Of course Bren. You want to be alone?" When Brendon nodded Ryan stepped back, going into his closet and grabbing a black towel and some shorts. "Here, take as long as you need. You remember me showing you where it is, right?" He said, handing Brendon the things.

"Yeah. Thanks, Ryan." He started to walk out, when Ryan grabbed his arm and kissed him. 

"No problem babe. Now, go get clean for me" He pulled away and slapped his ass. Brendon yelped and hurried out of the room.

*****

Brendon stepped into the shower, turning on the water to hot. Ryan wanted to have sex with him. Ryan wanted to fuck him! It was a lot to take in when just yesterday Brendon still thought touching yourself was a sin. Now he's about to have sex, without being married, and with a guy! When did his life become this interesting?

He scrubbed his skin almost raw, cleaning his hair after. He was trying to build up the courage to clean... Down there. He rubbed his hands with the soap, and reached behind himself and kind of just, rubbed. And- well holy shit. That felt really good. He teased around it for a few moments, before deeming himself clean enough for Ryan. What would he need to clean down there that much for, anyways? He steeped out and towel dried off, sliding on the shorts he was given. 

Ryan was laying across his bed when Brendon returned, just wearing his sweatpants. He smiled when he saw Brendon. "All better?"

Brendon just nodded shyly, scratching the back of his neck. Ryan stood up and walked toward him, wrapping his arms around him in a hug. "It's ok, B. You need to chill out." 

Brendon smiled nervously. "I know, but I- I'm just scared. You know I've never, done this and- what if I mess something up, or you don't like me anymo-" 

"Brendon, I know you're scared but you have to trust me. I'll show you how everything works, and I wouldn't be upset if you didn't want to go any farther tonight." Ryan said, kissing Brendon's forehead.

"Oh Ryan, of course I want to. I- I trust you." Brendon said, stepping back and smiling softly. 

Ryan's grin was blinding, and he pulled Brendon to the bed by his arm. "You have no idea how good I can make it for you."

Ryan sat on the edge and pulled  
Brendon into his lap. "I love you." He said softly, leaning into Brendon and kissing him lightly. He wrapped one arm around his waist and tangled the other into Brendon's hair. 

Brendon kisses back, face hot with embarrassment as he feels Ryan grind up against him. "Ry- Ryan!" He gasped, getting as much friction as he could by pushing down. 

"Woah, what happened to 'I'm nervous?'" Ryan joked, flipping them over so he was hovering over Brendon.

Brendon giggled as Ryan practically manhandled him. Ryan mouthed at Brendon's neck, leaving a trail of hickies down to his chest. 

"Oh- fuck, Ry." Brendon moaned, threading his fingers in Ryan's hair. Ryan sucked one of Brendon's nipples into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it. "Ryan!" Brendon gasped loudly.

"Yeah? You like that?" Ryan asked, hands going to slide down Brendon's shorts when Brendon's hand stopped him.

"Can- can you take off yours first?" He asked shyly.

Ryan smiled softly. "Of course." And wiggled out of his sweatpants and boxers.

Brendon's eyes widened when he saw Ryan's dick. He swallowed thickly. "Damn, Ryan. How do you fit that in your pants?" 

Ryan laughed and kissed Brendon again, slowly. Ryan heard him gasp when he nibbled on Brendon's lip. Ryan's tongue pushed into Brendon's mouth and his hands went down to drag down his shorts. 

Brendon tensed, but allowed him to continue. After Ryan got rid of Brendon's shorts and boxers he smiled. "Brendon, you're so beautiful." 

Brendon's blush coloured his whole face. He moaned loudly in surprise when Ryan took his dick in hand and began to strike. "Oh my- holy shit, Ry!" Brendon groaned, pushing his hips up into Ryan's fist. "I- I can't, Jesus!" He groaned loudly.

Ryan was in awe at how responsive Brendon was. "Brendon, you have jerked off before, right?" He asked.

Brendon looked nervous, and slowly shook his head. "N-no. We were taught- Oh shit- we were taught that it was a sIN!" He gasped out as Ryan stroked faster. 

Ryan's eyebrows furrowed. "You were so missing out." He shifted a little further down the bed, until he was face to face with Brendon's dick. 

"What are you doing-" Brendon started when Ryan's lips closed around his head and his mind went blank and he was groaning loud enough for the neighbors to hear. "Oh my fuck- Ry, Ry, Ryan!" He gasped, hips bucking up against his will.

Ryan took it like a pro, relaxing his throat. He enjoyed listening to Brendon for a few moments, before pulling off with a wet smack. 

"What are you doing?" Brendon asked a little breathlessly as Ryan dug around in his dresser drawer. 

He didn't answer, just pulled a strange bottle out of his drawer. He settled back in between Brendon's obscenely splayed legs. "You'll see." He responded.

"I don't know how this all works Ryan, what are you doing with that-"

"Trust me, Bren." That silenced him. Ryan uncapped the bottle and squirted it onto his fingers, rubbing it around for a few seconds. He sucked down Brendon as he circled one of his fingers around his rim.

"Woah! Seriously, what are you doing?" Brendon asked, slightly worried.

"Well, prepping you."

"May I ask for what?" Brendon said.

"Brendon. We're still going to fuck, right?" Ryan asked.

A look of confusion crossed Brendon's face before his eyes widened. "Holy shit, you're putting your dick there?" 

"Bingo!" Ryan yelled, pushing the finger in with more intent. It went in with a little force, and Brendon's face screwed up in pleasure and he almost screamed out when Ryan's prodding pushed against his prostate. 

"What was that- how are you doing that?" Brendon asked shakily in between moans. 

"That's your prostate." He answered before going back down. 

"Jesus- I don't know what's happening, I can't- oh fuck!" Brendon whined, hips jerking up and the two fingers Ryan had in him shoving in harder as he came, loud moans falling steadily from his lips. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He near-screamed.

Ryan's smile was huge as he watched Brendon fall apart. "Pretty intense, huh babe?" He said.

Brendon just gazed down at him, eyes glossy. "Wait, did I just cum?" He asked. 

Ryan giggled, sliding his fingers out and crawling over Brendon. He kissed him lightly. "Yes you did. Want to again?" Ryan mumbled against his lips.

"Oh hell yes." Brendon responded, wrapping his arms around Ryan's waist. "I still don't know what I'm doing..." He said shyly.

"Really? After all of that, and now you're coming across as bashful?" Ryan joked, stretching his arm down and pushing his fingers back into Brendon's sensitive body. 

"Oh shit- that feels so good but it hurts Ry!" Brendon groaned.

"Oh, is my little boy still sensitive?" Ryan asked sarcastically, scissoring his fingers to make room for another. 

"Oh- ow!" Brendon gasped in pain as Ryan slid in another finger.

"Are you okay? I know it's a little uncomfortable, let me just-" he twisted around his fingers, looking for Brendon's prostate. He knew he found it when Brendon's whole body jerked and he let out a noise embarrassingly close to a sob. 

"Oh- holy shit- how can you even, Jesus fuck." Brendon groaned. 

"Articulate." Ryan commented, before twisting around his fingers more. Deeming him ready, he pulled out his fingers and went to reach for the condom. Brendon's hand reached out to stop him, and Ryan looked up questingly. 

"Well, I know I'm clean. If you are too, could you not use that?" Brendon asked almost innocently.

Ryan's hand went down to his dick, slick with lube. "Oh fuck Brendon, that's so hot." He positioned himself over Brendon. "Are you ready?" Ryan asked gently. 

Brendon nodded, gripping tightly onto Ryan's biceps. "Do it, Ry."

Ryan pushed in as gently as he could, biting his lip in concentration to go slow. Brendon's face is scrunched up, and he's making a quiet whining noise in the back of his throat. They both let out a little sigh when Ryan's all the way in. 

"Ryan- please move I can take it." Brendon moaned breathlessly. Ryan complied happily, pulling pit slowly before thrusting back in. 

"Oh, Brendon, so tight!" Ryan groaned as he continued his thrusting, reaching down to grab Brendon's dick. 

"Oh, right there, don't stop Ryan!" Brendon said desperately, jerking his hips up into Ryan's grip. "I'm- oh shit Ry- I'm close." He choked out.

"It's ok, Brendon me too." Ryan moaned into his ear. He locked their lips in a sweet kiss and groaned as he came, filling Brendon and feeling the excess drip out. 

He slowly pulled out and crawled down Brendon's body. "Ryan, what are you-" Brendon practically screamed, Ryan shoving his tongue inside of him and eating him out. "Ry, Ryan! Holy- shit! I'm gonna- I'm cumming!" He sobbed as his dick jerked, and Ryan grabbed onto it, helping Brendon ride his orgasm out.

"Beautiful." Ryan said, kissing Brendon's cheek. 

Brendon was still dizzy with the pleasure. He giggled. "Ryan, you're crushing me!" He complained half-heartedly. 

Ryan laughed and rolled off the bed. "I'll be back." He said as he walked out of the door. 

When he returned with the warm cloth, he found Brendon fast asleep. Ryan smiled. Brendon was his now. He cleaned off Brendon and himself before tossing the cloth in his clothes bin, and crawling into bed behind Brendon. "I love you." Ryan whispered before pulling the covers over them both and falling fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me until the end! I hope you guys enjoyed, let me know if there's any mistakes because I did actually write half of this at 2am while I was avoiding homework :-)

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know how you guys like it! <3


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